#649: my real life.

i hate those movies without endings. and yeah, if i were you, i'd want to know how much i spent and how i spent it.

i asked the hubs if he thought he'd want to know if he didn't already know and he said..."uh. duh."

$10,000 isn't chump change but it sure is a dreamy budget for a real wedding, eh. not for all, but for most. so i get it. i get you.

i'm not embarassed i went over (not anymore, anyways) and i don't think you'd judge me for it. i've had one or two comments thrown my way to the effect of something like "i'm going to stop reading this blog because you are obviously going over $10,000 which means you are lying to us and you are not staying true to the cause..." (errr, ok?...)

but they're obviously no longer reading so...

...and this blog has been blessed with extremely supportive readership. my wedding clearly wasn't run of the mill but most of the things i chose to do were fully supported through TTO. because you GET indie. you GET setting a budget that is within your means and then some. you GET refusing to be WIC-ified unless you want to be. you GET it. plus, i don't KNOW-you-know-you. so i'm not scared to share personal information with you.

but in real life, i get scared. i'm a really reeeeeeally private person. like annoyingly private. like i have walls and things all around me. and there are like 3 people inside those walls with me. and the rest will forever just be scratching the surface.

...i'm one of those.

we can get psycho-analytic about my past with friendships and trust and things like that...but that's not the point. point is. i get nervous when people i know know too much about me.

which is why i've chosen to remain anonymous until now. which is why i still haven't told any of my friends about this blog. which is why even though i think they might already know about this blog, i don't ever bring it up. and which is why they probably don't bring it up with me. which is why i hope you can appreciate that it was a really reeeeeeeally big deal to show you my faaaaace. sure, you would've eventually perhaps figured it out. but dude. i actually led you there, remember?

and then now, to divulge something personal like 'how much i spent on my wedding' to not just you, but potentially to people i know...is a huge step for me. not saying i won't do it. but i'm just saying, ok?

anyways. maybe you get where i'm coming from. maybe you don't. either way, i know you're curious.

so as i mull it over and figure out the best way for us to meet in the middle, here's what you should do before all else should you have goals and intentions that mirror mine.

start a blog.

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i'm not joking.

(p.s. i'll explain more later. for now, i have to get back to work.)