#666: pie.

six hundred and sixty six posts. wow.

anyways.

i did some messing around on excel and created this thing. it's our expense pie.



the reception (food and drinks) for 130 guests took up 63% of our total expenditures. i wonder if that's average or not. i looked through wedding budget calculators and most of them allocate 45-50% for food and drinks.

can't say i'm not glad our budget leaned heavy towards good food and imbibementals. mm hm.

how much of your total are you allocating to the reception?

#599: words.

i haven't really written anything worth reading these days. or ever.

but meg has. and then esb made me laugh.

and then LPC noted i never use caps. and then i couldn't stop reading her blog.

that's all.

#460: continuing the money talk.

what may be common sense for some may not be so obvious for others.

if you think you're in the latter category and could use some tips as you plan your wedding, give these a read:

1) ...via perfect bound.

2) ...via manolo for the brides.

#425: just say no.

cheerio.

please read this.

and this.

*************************************

a wedding should never be defined by its tangibles, no matter how complicated or simple. and it's disheartening to know that it's become status quo to put ourselves under so much pressure to impress (either monetarily or craft-ily or even first dance-ily).

let's say no to all that. and just revel in being ourselves. let's be confident enough to spend a millllllllion dollars or bake our own 15-tiered cake only if we want to. not because WIC or Martha or our peers are demanding it.

a wedding is, in its simplest form, an announcement to your close ones that you're committing to your betrothed for forever...and that you're going to come into some tax benefits as a couple.

all the rest of it is...stuff.


*note to self*

#412: tip this.

our venue reminds me of 'semi homemade with sandra lee'. because it includes 95% of all-things-needed-for-a-wedding-reception, i (very brilliantly) will not have to hire outside what the venue already provides. instead, i can focus on tweaking small things here and there along the way to make the venue and the event reflective of "us".

and the best part? i won't have to carry around a big wad of cash on the day-of to tip multiple vendors. awe. some.

i will not be tipping (because i will not be using...):
a caterer
a makeup artist
a hairstylist
a florist
lighting specialists
linen people
chaircover people
valet

am i missing anyone? the venue estimate is inclusive of 19% gratuity (servers, bartenders) so i don't think i need to tip anyone there, right?

wait, so does this mean i really have no one to tip on the day-of?

freaking awesome.

oh wait, i might hire a dj. who i'd then have to tip. but then again, i might just use an ipod.

#405: your daily dose of candy.

even daily candy has a wedding section.

read their budget friendly tips here.

#399: prioritization in action. kind of.

after post #393, i got to thinking about the whole 'evening' requirement.

our main priority is to showcase our lifelong promise to each other and to also share that love with family. that's it. in fact, 80% of our guests are going to be family. aunts, uncles, grandparents, parents, sibs, nieces, nephews, cousins. and 2nd cousins. and it made me wonder: why am i so hell bent on having a crazy blow-out nighttime party? i mean...if we want our wedding to be very simply, basically, and fundamentally about our love and our love for both of our families who've made us who we are today...why am i putting the heavy on the party-til-the-a.m. element.

yeah. it might have something to do with the fact that someone loves to party something tranny fierce. (guilty.)

and i got to thinking. that hey, a party...is a party. doesn't matter what time of day, as long as the right people are there with you.

getting to the point: i've kind of been focusing on the wrong aspect of our wedding (and consequently, trying to cater to a crowd other than most of our guestlist!) so...whilst this whole time i've been stubbornly against a daytime wedding (not in general but for us), i'm no longer. and fiance agrees.

i know. i'm thick. it takes a while for me to get it. meh. but at least i did.

#393: i'd love to stay sane.

"i want this bad boy $10,000 budget to encompass everything...the venue the food the dress the booze the rings to the everything else. e-ver-y-thing." -me

yes, that was me. about 1.5 years ago. and wow, how things doth change with 1.5 years worth of reality checks.

so here's what i'm thinking:

$10,000 must include venue, food, drink, dress, dj, centerpieces, invitations.
$10,000 will not include photography, rings, honeymoon, gifts.

because my tag line is "can i do it?" and at this point, i'm really starting to feel like i can't. not with my original checklist.

the MUSTS:

• 100-125 guest list (80% of that is family. so cutting further isn't an option.)
• evening event with alcohol
  

and those 2 criteria are killing me larry. no matter how i slice and dice, i can't seem to make it work, not if the $10,000 has to include food + bev, PLUS photography, the rings, gifts, etc.

so what do you think of my re-write, now that i know about 20% service fees and 8.25% sales tax charges? and cake cutting fees, dance floor fees, site fees, security fees...

does it make my budget more reasonable? or is it a cop-out?

#384: broke-ass brillz.

hey. here's a thought. why not extend the life of all the stuffs from your one-day affair and at the same time save some coin.

read more from miss broke ass bride.

#379: what's the point of having cake if you can't eat it too?

things i've been doing lately:

1) driving everyone nuts (though they're all too kind to tell me to my face). "we're getting hitched in april!" "oh wait, make that february!" "ahhh...ok, may!" "um...maybe november?" "uhhhhhh...back to february or may..."

self: please STFU.

2) getting (pushed) off track. i didn't think i'd do this when i earnestly began searching for a reception venue but most of the places i've contacted really aren't that far off the road-frequently-traveled-by-brides (ok, fine, i've only received an estimate from one place so far but still...it ceremoniously ripped my budget to shreds...). which means they're all rather expensive. which means i've also been...

3) driving myself nuts trying to hold tight to this budget whilst also clinging to the Big Vision with ALL SIGNS pointing to IMPOSSIBLE.

as a result, and to point out the obvious, the venue search has been an utter failure. meh, i should rephrase that. finding a venue that we like, that we think our guests would like, all the while sticking to my $10,000 goal...has been mindbendingly difficult and disappointing.

i feel like i've looked for so long for "unique venues" (read: venues not on the road-frequently-traveled-by-brides thus able to make friends with my budget) or at least unique ways in order to find unique venues. but over the past couple of months, i've somehow come full circle back to popular wedding venues...which translates to EXPENSIVE...which translates to WILL BREAK MY BUDGET AND TAKE MY ARMS AND LEGS. which is so far away from where i thought i'd be. which has been making me anxious about our budget.

what am i doing. i can't pull this off. aim for the stars and at least reach the moon? not so much, apparently.

and the fiance has even said to me on several occasions while witnessing the struggle:
hey...maybe TTO could stand for..."twenty thousand only"...? yeah? deal or no deal?

NO DEAL! HA HA HA! you're so silly!!!...

but seriously? i've allowed myself to wonder as of late...would it BE so wrong to break the ceiling juuuuust a little bit? like...by 100%?

but i don't want to! {cue 'cry me a river' here}

so...what am i doing wrong? and why do i constantly feel like my mind keeps battling itself? (as evidenced by the scarily-all-over-the-place-complete-with-multiple-voices episode you just read above...)

enter reader crafty beaver with her comment:
Seems to me that a lot of heartache comes NOT from trying to throw a great wedding and party on $10K (or whatever your personal number is), but from trying to throw the $50K wedding in all the pictures on $10K.

wait a minute. wait a minute. so what you're saying is...

i can't throw a $50k wedding for $10k.

man, why have i been driving myself nutso's when it's really that simple?

i can't have my cake and eat it too. unless i change the type of cake i want...in which case i may end up getting and eating the best cake of my freaking life. and now that i realize that and (key word coming up...) ACCEPT it...i'm feeling quite motivated again.

first step: to revisit my priorities. post to come shortly.

p.s. bloggers-you-love-to-read meg and guilty also gave me some juice with their recent posts.

p.p.s. um. i love all ya'll.

#285: i am not an island.

what makes this blog work.........

........is (are?) other blogs.

if you don't believe me, take a gander at my profile. i compile my ideas from blogs i visit daily. i really do.

and i found another one to add to my blogroll. meg is the funky fresh over at a practical wedding. plus, she's TEAM $10,000 as can be verified by her budget friendly (and quite practical, i must admit) posts here and here.

#282: FOTB.

remember when steve martin pictured himself manning the grill (whilst donning a chef's hat, at that) in his backyard with picnic tables, streamers and balloons and kids running around everywhere...

the wedding ultimately ended up being much more of a schmancy affair, at $250/head. (a little trivia: i'm very familiar with the actual house they used in the movie; my piano teacher lived 2 blocks away from it!)

so that begs the question...does going budget-friendly automatically mean having to go casual like a simple cake and punch affair. or, if not casual, limiting your offerings to just champagne and dessert. or, if not limiting your offerings, paring down your list to 25 people.

fact: when you're going 'budget', you have to give hard-knuckled consideration to and from the get-go decide where you're willing to compromise and where you're...just really not.

i think i've been fairly consistent in saying that i'm ok letting go of: the $5000 dress, the flowers that are going to wilt within days, the huge bridal party, the extensive guest list, the fancy paper, and the extras (favors, bathroom baskets, OOT bags, etc).

but i'm also getting more stubborn with the there-are-no-compromises-here items: good food (meaning a complete meal. not just apps or desserts. this is top priority.), style, pizzazz, amazing photography, and a blow out party (aka major drinkage for all!).

knowing this, bf said to me the other night: "$10,000 isn't possible when a decent chicken dinner for a wedding costs $70/pp. i think you have to consider spending more than $10,000. how about setting the limit at $20,000?"

i'm a capricorn which means i don't handle defeat well. and i'm stubborn as hell. which means i'll just have to find a way. i just have to.

#271: unbelievably less than $15,000.

photo by jessica johnston as seen on snippet & ink.

key take-aways from knottie 99vintageglam who was able to plan her outrageously beautiful wedding for under $15,000:
*75 guests
*non-floral, all candle centerpieces
*ornate venue, minimal decorations
*tissue pomanders
*beer and wine only (per venue's orders)

#244: another list.

budget brides bio.

#240: real simple linky love.

darci at with this ring was kind enough to share all of the downloadable links from the FIRST EVER real simple wedding issue. thank you.

p.s. guess which list i clicked on first.