#599: words.

i haven't really written anything worth reading these days. or ever.

but meg has. and then esb made me laugh.

and then LPC noted i never use caps. and then i couldn't stop reading her blog.

that's all.

#592: heh.

so i've been trying to build a website.

i tried wedding channel.
i tried blogger.
i tried wordpress.
i tried ewedding.
i tried momentville.

and we, as in i, decided to stick with mywedding.

#581: you are not alone.

thanks sara for the healthy reminder this lovely friday morning.

in this here said safe space of the blogosphere, we all get what we're trying to do. we all get that we are not here to criticize, to compete, to jam mainstream weddings stuffs down each other's throats, to BE THE BEST WEDDING THROWER EVER.

but in real life, not everyone feels that way. in fact, most people don't get it. in fact, most people around me still don't get it. but hey. whatevs.

as you begin, as you plan, as you play around on sites like the knot, as you start brainstorming ideas, as you prioritize, as you make decisions...don't let raised eyebrows, shocked silences, catty comments...stop you.

it hasn't stopped me and i see and hear less of all that now. not to say it isn't being done or said. but to say...i've focused on what we consider to be important and for the most part, haven't been sweatin the other stuff...and couldn't be happier about it.

as should you.

you be you. and most importantly, enjoy the ride. pretty please. that's all.

#578: printable press.

hello.

meet kimi. (hi kimi!)



you might remember her from her amazing dress or her overall badassness.

and if you hadn't guessed by now, her background is graphic design. and these are the invitations she created for her own wedding.



that kind of talent = i don't have it. which makes me think...not everyone does. and the ever practical meg (who, as you know, exudes general badassness as well) was just as bowled over by kimi's STUFF.

because it was obvious to us. that kimi's totally got it.

the heart, the patience, the mind, LE GIFT.

and actually, we're not the only ones who noticed. once kimi's talent was showcased, it became the most popular kid in school. she started getting requests for her designs from friends and then friends of friends...and then friends of friends of friends. because really, who doesn't like to impress for less (and impress she does)? and really (in my opinion), what's the point of a gift if it can't be shared?

thus became the idea behind her ideas. why not make her designs affordable and available to everyone.

the answer: printable press. she provides the design and you print as you like.

*pricing guide
*paper sources

i can go on and on about how special this launch is (because it really is), to try to express all the fuzzies i feel about how she's taking the leap into starting her own business (THANK YOU FROM ALL OF US), and how proud i am that such sensible and fabulous options like printable press are becoming more and more available to all of us.

but i won't.

let me just show you the why.







all designs available at printable press.

i know. i have a feeling i'll be her cheerleader forever.

#570: website.

so instead of a quote, maybe i'll create a wedding website and print the address on the flap.

the website must be:
1) user-friendly aka dummy proof aka i'm not tech savvy aka maybe i won't create a wedding website
2) FREE
3) visitor-friendly

i checked out wedding channel and the free templates are eh but it looks easy enough to use.

any others you like? (and please share why.)

#563: march.

1) practice hair/makeup
2) work on ceremony decorations
3) mail invitations
4) decide what to do about cake and stuffs
5) bouts: DIY or twigs&honey or nothing
6) begin dress alterations
7) get sand for the ceremony
8) print maps for rehearsal lunch venue
9) complete the centerpieces

p.s. i tried the hourglass primer and it was also divine. after 2 awesome primer experiences, i got curious about primers (what are they, really) and did a bit of research. basically, with a primer, you're filling in all your little (or big, in my case) pores so that you have a more even canvas to work with when applying the rest of your makeup. it's like a waxy sheen to prep your rocky face. i dig. i'm curious about laura mercier's primer that you all rave about so that will be the last primer i try. will report.

oh, and last thing. there was also a comment asking about smear/runproof eyeliner. i don't have any suggestions to avoid raccoon eyes other than "don't cry". which is not very realistic. so please share if you have any advice. much appreciated.

#523: done.

via city of beverly hills.

rehearsal lunch venue? check.

#521: rehearsal dinner.

Hi, I have ask you to post what you are thinking of for a money-saving rehersal dinner? Here's my deal: the grooms parents are a different religion and at this point are refusing to come or pay anything for the ceremony. Obviously, we are devasted about them not willing to come (especially becasue we have tried everythign to get them to come.) Anyways, this also means we are footing the bill for our rehersal dinner and we need something cheap to do becasue we are already footing the bill for most everything else for the wedding. Please help. Any tips or anything on cheap rehersal dinner ideas. I don't want to punish my family and friends by not doing anything

i haven't talked much about the rehearsal dinner because...i haven't thought much about it. i don't know what the tradition is when it comes to who pays for what...but i do know that we are footing the bill for everything and anything that involves the wedding. and that includes the rehearsal dinner.

thinking out loud:
1) our rehearsal will most likely be held on friday morning, the day before the wedding. which means. we will be having a rehearsal lunch.
2) after the rehearsal, we can trek it over to a nearby restaurant.
3) or, we can trek it over to someone's house and cater.
4) and if we do the latter, i could cater from somewhere like california chicken cafe, wahoos, or boston market. yum.
5) ok, so now that i've thought about it, i think i will cater. not only is it cost effective, but it will keep things cool and casual, which is keeping in line with the vibe of the weekend. i just need to figure out whose house i could borrow.

so, in conclusion, catering from a local fave is what i plan to do. there are simply soo many fantastic cheap eats out there...it would be an absolute shame to not consider their catering services.

alternative options:

*costco is a great resource for bulk goodies, especially if you're open to prepping the foods yourself. which i'm not. but if you are, i'd say there's a good chance you could save even more money going this route.

*i'm not into the idea of potlucking because i feel like making my peeps work wouldn't go over so well. BUT. you may have family members or close friends who are totally into potlucking. i don't. but if you do...do it, prove it.

at the end of the day, you are not "punishing" anyone if you decide not to have a formal/informal rehearsal dinner. in fact, maybe you could have a small desserts and tea type gathering instead right after the rehearsal if that works better for your budget.

the entire point behind a rehearsal dinner/gathering/anything is to say thank you. that's it. so as long as you do that, whatever you do as a sidenote to strengthen your expression is just that. a sidenote.

words are mightier than food*. hear me?

*not always but definitely so in this instance.

#516: the load.

dear husband-to-be:

a quick email to tell you not to worry about planning the honeymoon. i will take care of it all.

thank you for supporting my dreams and working so hard to create a privileged lifestyle for us.

you spoil me.

love,
wifey-to-be

******************************************

the fiance's company recently experienced a reorg. and i'm sure you know what that really means. fiance is fortunately still with the company...but is going to be extremely overwhelmed and busy with work stuff over the next few months.

in slightly less important matters, this also means that although i had delegated the honeymoon bit of the planning entirely to him, i will now have to take that on myself as well.

when i first realized that i'd have to do everything a-z, i felt a pang of exasperation. because i'm a selfish broad and it doesn't help that fiance spoils me like crazy.

but i'm learning from him. and learning to be more like him. and most of it is good. *wink*

the point: the exasperation was short-lived and now i'm eager to help relieve him of this burden. yes. it's like i'm growing up. or something.

#495: "so anyways."

last night on my way home, i had a little chatsky with my sister on the phone.

she was talking about her job and telling me how the girl who trained her 7 months ago had left out a step in the process and how she was now backlogged 7 months with this thing she had to do. somewhere during the middle of this story, i bursted out "OMGAW, WE GOT OUR INVITATIONS IN THE MAIL TODAY! ISN'T THAT EXCITING?!"

sister: "ohhhh, yes! ok. so anyways..."

oops. i'm carelessly starting to forget that not everyone's got weddings on the brain like i do.

note to self: check yourself before you wreck yourself.

side note: so basically. i'm extra relieved i have this blog as an outlet for all.things.wedding. know what i mean.

#489: saucy.

reader's question:
I am going to use mix and match old china from second hand stores for my wedding reception. The only problem is I'm not finding many dessert or bread plates. Could I get away with using saucers to serve the cake on? Every batch of china I'm finding seems to have a nice little stack of them attached. Would anyone even care that there is a little indention for a cup on their plate under all that yummy cake and cobbler?

It's a small wedding of only close friends and family at a friends vacation home. There will be folks camping out, sitting around playing guitars, dogs and kids running amuck so I'm trying not to sweat the details too much but this one is tripping me up.

my opinion:
first, mix and match is sexy. second, reusing old china is even sexier.

third, i'm not an expert by any means when it comes to what's acceptable or not. and i should also disclose that i don't even know how to properly set the dining table. does the fork go on the left or on the right.

that said, saucers as dessert plates? as long as they're clean, i say WHY NOT. what's the diff. good food is good food and that's what really matters. i personally could care less what the good food is served on or with (i mean, to a point. but in terms of saucers, i'm 100% comfortable.)

plus, saucers might come in handy for guests who are looking for some help with portion control (*raises hand*).

#472: back to the basics.

there's a growing trend towards simplifying our lives these days. timely reality check for all of us (aka me) who thought the world was financially inculpable, eh.

anyways, with all this talk of shedding of the excess, i'm getting more and more emails lately asking how to keep costs down here in good old expensive southern california. and i'm not surprised. because as much as i love this city, it only takes me a second to admit that LA's the ePITome of excess which means things are expensive which means it's really really difficult to stay within any type of budget for any type of anything which means i may or may not make it which means HOLD ME.

so what can i tell you to help you?

well i'm afraid i don't have any specific advice like "have your wedding (insert location here)" or "get your flowers at (insert store name here)". i mean, you know where i'm doing everything...so you can copy my entire vendor list if you'd like.

but...i know every bride's journey is different. plus, lord knows i've made numerous gaffes along the way...all of which have helped me grow and learn how to prioritize. i wouldn't want to rob you of that experience, see.

so without getting too specific, i'd like to impart a few...things. 'things' being realizations i only understood at the end of the venue search road. looking back, it's almost obvious. but that's ok. i don't mind stating the obvious.

1) be flexible. i started my search with the following reception MUST-HAVES: evening, lots and lots of alcohol, raging party, 125 people. it was a non-negotiable, staunch, written-in-stone list.

but after weeks and weeks of disappointing research, i realized...that i couldn't have it all. this forced us to prioritize. i faced some difficult questions during that time..."do i really need to stick to this budget?...would i be happier spending more money?...should i bite the bullet?" but i realized...that the budget was important to me, more so than holding tight to all of the things on my MUST-HAVE list.

to start, we took a closer look at our guest list...and eventually decided to focus our wedding around the people who mean the most to us. hello family. the guest list dropped to 100.

following that, i realized a raging evening party would only be catering to 15% of the crowd. so we changed our evening bash to a luncheon.

and i know you all know that a lunch reception is a major money saver.

so...i guess by "be flexible", i also mean...don't ever count the daytime-wedding option out. ever.

2) be strong. when i started calling venues and contemplating non-traditional options, i was insecure, afraid of and anticipating other peoples' reactions. and that insecurity was realized (times a mil) when people reacted with even the slightest amount of disapproval or dismay.

a HOUSE wedding?! a LUNCH wedding?! at a REStaurant?! WHY?! how about ABC hotel...have you considered it?!

and the best one...

"what about (enter venue name here)? it's cheap!"

yeah, well most of these "cheap" venues turned out to be 1) not really inexpensive by any means or 2) a "gas station bathroom" type of suggestion.

this. did. not. help. matters.

it was annoying...but at the end of the day, i didn't budge when the hints of pity and subtle mention of expectations were waved in front of my face. and i'm glad i never caved. i don't have to deal with any buyer's remorse type pangs of regret of having signed us up to pay more than we initially wanted to for a decent venue and great food. because we're not. and trust me when i say that this feels good. better than good.

so...feel free to go against the grain to help you meet your goals. all of us will support your decision.

i'm no longer insecure because 1) i have a fiance who's so all about this effort and 2) because of the support and advice i've received through TTO.

i'd be more than happy to do the same for you and cheer you on.

3) save time by doing your venue research online. heavily. research blogs, the knot, project wedding, here comes the guide, zagat, yelp, citysearch, martha stewart weddings. i sure did. even before i was engaged, natch. and 99% of the time, i had already looked into the places people ended up recommending to me.

that's about it.

oh, and a few last itty bitty things to note:

don't visit the venue if you KNOW it's going to be out of reach. i knew better but i did it anyways at least once or twice and for some straaaange reason, i always felt rather dejected afterwards.

on the flip side, if you think you could afford a specific venue, take the time to check it out before you start ANY type of negotiating. pictures can be deceiving. just saying.

and LAST OF ALLLLL, if you're JUST starting out and you're planning a wedding in LA with a budget similar to mine, take a look at the venues i considered and some of the outlandishy methods i used to find them. who knows. it may inspire your inner sleuth.

happy hunting.

#471: ta-dow.

i have 4 months left. AHHHHHHHH!

just kidding. i'm fine.

in fact, i've even constructed a rather unsophisticated timeline for each month, making me feel that much more productive. and since it's january, i'll share this month's list.

1) gather the stuffs for the centerpieces. start crafting.
2) decide whether a dj and/or mc is necessary. (leaning towards no...)
3) who is going to be our freaking officiant.
4) collect guest info aka pressure the 'rents to get. on. it.
5) outline the ceremony...who walks down first, what is said, when the rings are exchanged.
6) outline reception schedule...first dance, f/d dance, toasts.

overall, i must admit i'm not stressed. but i do have my moments.

for example. i'm not doing rsvp return cards. i'm having our guests email us directly once they receive the invitation. i've been worrying for the past two days about getting an email from madeupemailaddress@yahoo.com and not knowing who it is.

and then while walking to the restroom just now, i thought...hey, i could number the rsvp cards i'm including in the invitation and ask the guests to reference it in their email response. it's slightly inconvenient, i guess, in that it could further confuse the older generation (email? what's that?!). but it's ok. we'll all get through it. (hold me.)

**************************************

a real conversation:

me: ...when we are much much older...i hope i die before you.
him: ...i hope so too.

**************************************

EDIT: point of clarification: 143iloveyou was an arbitrary fake email address. or so i thought (oops). my point was simply to show that if the email address was nondescript, how would i know which guest was rsvp'ing. that's all.

#458: yes or no.

when you travel, does your e-ring follow.

as in...let's say you're traveling from the states to the middle east...in oh, let's say, 5 days. like, would you wear your e-ring or leave it behind.

#455: the vows i will have to write.

i'm really excited and nervous about writing our own vows. i've been to at least ten weddings...and only one where the couple had written their own vows. and i remember thinking...i want to do that.

so i want to give myself and the fiance one question to answer so we have a starting point for our vows.

i'm coming up with things like:

*what do you love most about him.
*what are you thankful for.
*what about the future are you looking forward to the most.

but those are kind of boring. it would be great to start with something funny or out of the ordinary.

any suggestions? what did you talk about for your vows?

*************************************

excerpt via 123 i love you:

Have I ever told you that I love you?

Yes, it is true. I love you. I love you with all my heart. I love you with my soul. I love you for the man that you are, and I love you for the man that you dream of being, but who you can never � must never! � become. I love you for every sign of your innate goodness � signs that, try as you might to conceal them, are still as obvious as they would be if some dull blade had etched them into your brow in an ornate font. I love you for the better angels of your nature, and also for the worse devils � perhaps more for the devils! It is true! I love you for the magnificent and bloody crimes that you dream of in your innermost heart when all the world is asleep, and I love you for that rich elixir of sweetness that you can pour on men, women, and children with a single word � NAY! � with a single glance! I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO CARVE A GREAT WOODEN MONUMENT TO YOU EVERY MORNING, WORSHIP IT BY THE LIGHT OF THE NOONDAY SUN, AND THEN BURN IT TO THE GROUND EVERY EVENING � ALL THE BETTER TO PROCLAIM, MY DEAR, YOUR GLORY TO THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE YET TO KNOW YOU, AND TO THE GODS WHO ALREADY ADORE YOU!

#453: showers.

other than the fact that i apparently need to take one every day, i've often wondered about bridal showers...and whether i'd even want one.

granted, my own bridal shower is not mine to throw or even mine to want or not want. so why am i even thinking about this. well, i guess i'm a bit nervous about being on the receiving end. i feel a bit weirded out with yet another opportunity to accept gifts as a bride-to-be. i guess i want to know what we're celebrating and acknowledging, exactly.

i mean...bachelorette party is for unabashed wildness. i totally get that. and yes, i will gladly participate. holla.

but bridal showers? what's the point?

oddly, on the flipside, i love throwing showers and doting on bride-to-be's. oh. so maybe that's what bridal showers are about? allowing the ladies who love you...to shower you with love...?

what's your take?

***************************************

that said, there have been a couple of showers i've seen around the nets as of late that i have been slightly lusting after. i can't wait to use these (or some variation of these) ideas.


first, there was meg's shower. i guess when you're super practical, you're surrounded by friends who are just as practical (and lovely). books?! so. cool. (if you haven't read oscar wao yet, please do. now. thank you.)


blair on elizabeth anne designs shared the deets on her 5 showers. kitchen shower? yes please. stock the bar shower? always a good idea. but a christmas ornament shower?! that's just beyond radical.

i think the trick is...to keep it personal to make it successful. note-to-self for any showers i throw in the future for my non married lovelies.

so...out of curiosity...what were the hi's-and-lo's of bridal showers you've thrown or been thrown?

p.s. pics of this party to come!

#452: weird or not weird?

i think my sister likes to discusseth wedding-related topics with me. you know. because i'm so knowledgeable.

the very skins of it is as follows.

my sister's friend's cousin is getting married and decided to have a 25-guest wedding. aka really really small.

he didn't invite any of the extended family (although they're all apparently really close) except grandma. who then declined the invitation because she was angry that no one else in the extended family was invited. so basically, now there's drama for your mama because my sister's friend and her sibs and her parents and the rest of the extended family are feeling jilted for not having been invited.

"isn't it weird?!"

"that they feel jilted? kind of."

"no...because they weren't invited!"

"hm...not...really..."

and...i don't think it is.

if the couple wants to have a 25-guest wedding, let 'em be. people should just be happy for people. that's what i think.

what do you think.